Author Archives: Bella Rae

I am relentlessly in pursuit of my best life and hope through these social media opportunities that we can help each other rise up from the ashes

Wednesday’s Wake Up

Everything he ever said, every promise….

“If your actions don’t live up to your words, you have nothing to say.”

― DaShanne Stokes
“…they speak great swelling words of emptiness…”
― 2 Peter 2 18

With every broken promise

There comes a time when the person lying can no longer be responsible for the breaking of your heart. You are responsible for your own heart ache. When I realized this I was still heart broke. That I let myself down. That I let someone time after time and time again get my hopes up. I wanted to believe in the love I thought we shared. I wanted to believe. There are just some things and people we are not and were never meant to know, to love or to believe in. The journey is our choice to some extent and I am ready to become my own hero, my own advocate and as my daughter recently said, become independent and learn to use my own voice and use it LOUDLY!!!!

Tasteful Tuesday

Taste and see that the Lord is good

Isaiah 30:20  New International Version
Although the Lord gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, your teachers will be hidden no more; with your own eyes you will see them.

In my life I have tasted much adversity and drank deep from the cup of affliction but God has never left me. He uses this diet to strengthen us. To test and prove our faith. The deeper I drank the deeper my roots. I know from my times in adversity that I can do all things through Christ. While in prison He ministered love on me even in the harshest of environments. I never went without coffee and sugar, which is like gold in prison. I had so many moments that were very personal and too surreal to not be my Lord. He loves us. If you look for Him, you will find Him. 

Ekekiel 2:8   But you, son of man, listen to what I say to you. Do not rebel like that rebellious people; open your mouth and eat what I give you.”

The words I have eaten have often been hard and bitter, as I digest the truth and my flesh is told no. But oh the truth. The truth does set us free! It it a hard thing to do, the taming of the tongue, or flesh. But if we obey these truths we will find peace and freedom.

Monday Monday

Every Monday I have physical therapy for my knee. Well, I missed last week but continued my exercises. This last Friday I woke up with lower back pain, muscle spasms and that led to frustration. Getting older apparently also means recovery slows and I really haven’t accepted that part of the aging process. Anyhow, I went today and as I write this, I’m laying down with my knee elevated above my heart, I’m using my phone so I’m unable to do any graphics and I’m trying really hard to NOT feel despair. Honestly I don’t think I’m even making sense. I’m rambling I guess but I want to be consistent with my blog and regardless of my circumstances stay true to myself. I feel good writing. I usually write what God shows me, perhaps a scripture that really stands out to me or or something I am going through and experiencing. This blog has been a great source of joy and confidence for me. Many of you have shared with me and that too has been a blessing. Today my computer wouldn’t connect to my internet so I ran out of time trying to connect and I didn’t want to stay unconnected to my blog so I’m doing it this way. Well, I hope everyone had a safe Monday and nobody let the Monday Blues get you down!!!

Ninety Nine

Luke 15:3-7  Then Jesus told them this parable:  “Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’ I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.

When I was ten years old my Father gathered me into his fold. He led me beside still waters, He protected me, He lavished me with His love! He anointed me. He had me pass under His rod, He separated me, He sealed me with His Holy Seal. I could FEEL it! Thank you Abba!! As I wait upon you, I can relax. My heavenly Daddy loves me! He has it all taken care of! Just like that little sheep in the picture, we were all lost and hopeless and scared at one time. You can call on Him. He loves you, He hasn’t forgotten you, no matter how far you stray our Good Shepherd will come!

People Places & Things

Come Out From Among Them

I am a recovering addict. The first thing you do when you quit or stop using, is decide to change. You start thinking about it, unless of course the law gets you and you are forced to stop. Or it kills you.

They say the second thing you need to do is change your “people, places and things” Stop hanging with your old friends, then you stop going to the places you used to go to to use or buy, then you stop the things. The things is a much broader statement, it literally means change EVERYTHING!!!

While in prison I read :

11 Corinthians 6:17 " Come out from among them and be separate, says the Lord. Do not ouch what is unclean, and I will receive you"

I think its pretty cool that when you are using, you say your not clean and if you are not using you say you are clean. Just an interesting thought. So I am going to share some scriptures the Lord gave me while in prison that I still use today to light the path I walk. These are also scriptures people can use when dealing with family members that are actively using. We are called to be separate. To be different. To not follow the crowd. I hope these bless you and minister to you as they do me.

Psalm 45:10 'Listen O  daughter, Consider and incline your ear; Forget your own people also, and your fathers house'

Genesis 12:1-3  'Now the Lord had said to Abram: Get out of your country, from your family and from your fathers house, To a land I will show you. I will make you a great nation, I will bless you and make your name great; And you shall be a blessing. I will bless those that bless you and I will curse those that curse you'

Isaiah 52:11,12  'Depart! Depart! Go out from there! Touch no unclean thing, go out from the midst of her, be clean you who bear the vessel of the Lord'

1 Corinthians 15:33  'Do not be deceived, evil company corrupts good habits.' 

Revelations 18:4  'Come out of her, my people, lest you share in her sins and lest you receive of her plagues.'

Numbers 33:55-56  “‘But if you do not drive out the inhabitants of the land, those you allow to remain will become barbs in your eyes and thorns in your sides. They will give you trouble in the land where you will live. And then I will do to you what I plan to do to them.’”

Joshua 23:11-13  Be very careful, therefore, to love the Lord your God. For if you turn back and cling to the remnant of these nations remaining among you wand make marriages with them, so that you associate with them and they with you,  know for certain that the Lord your God will no longer drive out these nations before you, but they shall be a snare and a trap for you, a whip on your sides and thorns in your eyes, until you perish from off this good ground that the Lord your God has given you.

I want to give the meaning as to my understanding of these scriptures. I get most of my understanding in the next scripture that I believe says it all. 

2 Corinthians 6:14   Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?

 In the Bible, the word yoke was used to imply slavery, servitude or influence in family relationships and religious ones.

I love that so much of what we think is our knowledge actually was written for us so long ago. The Word is the best blueprint, the best guideline we can use to live today! It is relevant, it is alive it is the book I go by. Each problem I face I can reach for my Bible and find an answer. Seek and ye shall find! I hope you enjoy my prison journal. There is more of it coming!

Smile! It’s Saturday

I hope you have a wonderful day!

“Anyone who has a continuous smile on his face conceals a toughness that is almost frightening.”

― Greta Garbo

I just read that quote and decided it is my favorite! I have been told I always have a smile on my face, I have been told I am too emotional. I agree with Miss Garbo. I am tough. I feel things strongly and that is OK. I am able to feel things, face things and I am not broken! It is the ones who are able to feel, to understand and articulate those feelings, face them, right or wrong, admit things, openly, authentically that are the fiercest! I like that about me! Hey! Today I found something I like about myself! I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!

Friday Feelings

Feelings & Thoughts

“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart”

― Helen Keller

Such a beautiful sentiment……if one can keep their feelings in check! I myself struggle daily and often by the minute with my own feelings. So I say one cannot go by feelings alone. They are fickle. Fair weather friends are our feelings. We must think about our thoughts before we decide we can trust our feelings. Put away your feelings for a moment. Yes, our husband forgot to take out the trash, the kids left their toys out and you stepped on one this morning, barefoot. You want to yell, scream and maybe cuss. You are mad. You feel angry or upset. As long as you can control the feeling and not act in your feelings I’d say you are grown and mature. I have yet to meet that goal but I am working on it.

Today, I will not go on feelings alone. I am going to redirect my feelings and thoughts and rethink my thoughts into submission to the Word of God. Be gentle. Be meek, humble and understanding of others and KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT!!! Keep me in your prayers LOL, this is quite a personal challenge!!! Have a wonderful day and weekend!!!

Thankful Thursday

Every day may not be good. But there’s good in every day. Happy Thursday. 

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It’s Thursday, what are you thankful for?

I am thankful for God restoring my family. I am drug free! I have met some pretty awesome bloggers on here! I am thankful for my mom, for my daughters who love me and forgive me, I am very thankful for forgiveness! I am thankful my son is a good man, he loves me and forgives me too! I am thankful for grace and joy that comes in the morning! And at night!!!! I love my life!