Tag Archives: spiritual

My kids & myself

What are you most proud of in your life?

When my kids were young, between 14 and 10, I became seriously ill with depression after the divorce of their father and me. I soon after became addicted to drugs and ended up in prison. Their father drank a lot but provided a safe home for them to grow up in and they are young adults now that don’t use drugs, they are all in good jobs. They work hard and now that I’ve been out of prison for 4 years, drug free, we have reconciled. I am proud of them. I am proud of myself. I do however, give God the glory and chose to stay humble because life is hard and I’ve been known to make bad choices so my pride must always stay in check lest I fall.

Forgetting

Don’t look back, forget it

Let go, let it go and

Don’t look back

Look ahead. That’s all new

Press on, strive for it. Reach

Focus on now, not then

Don’t try to remember, remember when?

That’s been done, it’s over. Finished

This is now. Right now. To begin

Let’s begin Let’s all breathe. Breathe in. Breathe out. Now stop. It’s gone. It’s over. Don’t take it back. Forget it …….. stay forgetting

Facing the Truth

I need to be honest

I was shown something today. I have to take responsibility for my own actions. When you are in a relationship with a controller it is our responsibility to follow our heart and follow what God says. I let my fear of rejection and fear of being alone keep me in an unhealthy relationship. I never said no. What he wanted for dinner was what we had. Where we went was wherever he wanted to go. He even told me one time one of the things he loved about me was that I never said no to him! That eventually gave me feelings of bitterness, feelings of even lower self worth and I harbored grudges toward a man I could have said no to and kept my self respect! I am thankful that God is showing me truths about myself. In this I can change, I can say no and I will in the future!

Revelation

The Word is Truth

When I read this scripture in Psalm 4:2 it jumped out of the page and settled into my heart. It resonated with my soul. I wrote last night about me chasing love in my relationships and they always fail. Love and acceptance come from my Lord and that is where I am right now. I am still mourning the man I love but I know that I am not a failure. I am not a loser. I am not unworthy. I am waiting on God. Everyday I seek His word, the truth about myself. I am redeemed and Jesus sacrificed Himself for ME! I have known this all my life but a deeper truth hit me last night. I have to trust God to heal my knee, to put me into a job that will enable me to support myself and I have to let go of the wrong thinking that has entrapped me, enslaved me into people pleasing and the approval addiction I have lingered in. I am a strong woman, a child of God, I am going to make it and I am going to prosper!

I am not alone

This is my first post in a long time. I am undergoing a transition in my life. I once wrote about my first experience with God at age ten. Psalm 23. I read it and I cried. I knew he was speaking directly to me. Later in life I looked toward men for my approval, for love, for acceptance. I lowered my standards, I did not set or keep boundaries. I ignored the voice inside me that said no. I quieted the voice inside that said, that’s not love. I put men in front of God. The acceptance of the man in my life, his love, was an idol. So, as I heal from my recent relationship I have asked forgiveness from God. He has sent woman to feed me the word and truth. There is a brother of mine that has ministered to my soul and spirit. You know who you are! I am on my way now! I never recognized this pattern in my life before. I see truth now. I have revelation. Thank you Jesus! So, truth sets us free! I am not alone! God is with me, he comforts me, his rod and staff protect me. He leads me beside still waters and has my lie in green pastures. I dont understand or know my future, but I believe truth and the truth, the Word says God has a good plan for me, I will receive double recompense for my sorrow and He will restore what the locusts have eaten, I will have beauty for my ashes and I will not be shamed. I will be a lender and not a borrower! I am on my way! I am excited!

#Bloganuary

Write about something that makes you feel strong.

My first response to this prompt was more along the lines of inner strength. When I asked that question to my boyfriend, he asked me what kind of strong are you talking about? “physical or mental”? Well, that got me to thinking. Huh! Your right!

There are four pillars of strength

  • Physical
  • Mental
  • Emotional
  • Spiritual

Well, when I work out and eat right I feel physically strong.I have a bad knee right now, so I feel strong more like the other day. My boyfriend and I always grocery shop together, we had finished and were loading it in the truck when I remembered something I needed to make him chili that night. My boyfriend was busy loading the groceries into the car, so I seized the moment and took off to get the items so I turned around and wheeled myself in. I had to go up a hill and the exertion got my blood running and I felt strong!

Mentally strong? I am very disciplined I guess I’d say. Self motivation has never been a problem. Even mentally strong I still believe has more sub categories than this example.

Emotional strength? I do not think I have anything to add here! I am so NOT strong in my emotions. LOL

Spiritually strong? I am strong in this area. I don’t want to sound moralistic or holier-than-thou. If you are interested in more of my spirituality, you can look at my page https://afterbella75.wordpress.com/2022/01/05/today-i-am-choosing-to-like-myself/ This page is dedicated to my testimony.