Tag Archives: photography

Hello Grief

you are not alone
#thestruggleisreal#grief

Hello Grief. I was wondering when I’d see your face today. I’d say it was nice to see you but it would be nice to see you forget me. Oh! I see you brought your friends along. Hello Guilt, hello Shame. Well come on in, make yourself comfortable. I know your agenda, so let’s not pretend this is social. Take a seat. Roll the film, it’s show time! There’s my Shame! There you are Guilt! You two  never leave my side. Oh and look! You both know that perfect pitch to synchronize yourselves with Grief, so that you all three are felt as one, bitter sweet memory. One never ending slow progression to this one exact precise moment. My awakening. Indeed, my reckoning, I have this moment every day. Sometimes once, sometimes many times a day. Well, today I’m gonna seize the moment and momentarily I’m allowing myself to accept what I find truly unacceptable. That hard task, the challenge of being me 

Mad

I am not mad. I will not get mad. Bothered? Yes, you could say I am bothered. Momentarily. Skipped a beat is all in the grander scheme of things. Even so, it was a much needed step I had to take, miss step though it was in order to get back to doing and being me. Indeed! Mad? Me? No, not mad at all.

My Practiced Smile, My Lie In Practice

Written 2010

so here i am, in my private place
i will put my smile, my practiced smile
in a neat little box, next to me..for a little while
in this place, my secret place i will not wear my lie
such a little thing, this little brave face, this prefect
peaceful pensive smile
like a habit worn in faith…it brings such comfort
to everyone around, yet the price, the saintly sacrifice
brings to me no such peace,
i conceal my pain, i bury my shame, in a pretty lie
my lovely lie, and before i fall
to restless slumber…..place it there to rest
no one wants to see my truth, no one else can bear my pain
so i mold it, i create something beautiful
that all can see and not worry or think too much about
But i dance with it tonight, my truth
to which, in the darkness i let my partner lead,
……sweeping me up into despair
whirling thru the night, spinning me leaving me breathless
then…
alone again i will turn…and gently open my box
There it is, my smile, my practiced smile my lie in practice…