Tag Archives: lovely

Tuesday Thoughts

Choose Your Thoughts

Today I purposely choose my thoughts. When I wake up mad, I choose to let it go. I choose peace over pride. I choose love over hate. This doesn’t mean I am a door rug or that I do not matter. I matter to the one that settles matters. If a known “Christian” and leader in the community chooses mean words to say and if this same person chooses to cast me aside and out, then I trust God to make matters right for me because I am precious to God. I have to find a new place to live because my covering is lifted. I really am not worried, I know God is taking me not away from a great place but taking me away from the wrong place. It helps to know this is n my soul, it helps me not be angry and the complete unjust words thrown at me. We all pay for the things we say and do, ad if you have never had to pay because your parents paid for you, you wont understand this. All you think about is what you feel and what you think you deserve We all deserve death but we are saved by GRACE, no one is above his or under it. We are saved!!!!!! I am SAVED!!!! I am worry free this Tuesday!!!!

Forgiveness Friday

Today I focus on “Today”. Forgetting what lay behind, I press forward. I will go to my closet to cry, I will press past any pain, I will love. Love does not blame, it does not remember any wrong, it thinks only good and love covers all sin.

Today I am thankful to have been raised hearing and learning about God. I thank God for my mom and dad, for my kids, for my freedom from prison and freedom from drugs and alcohol. Thank you Father that you put the desire inside me to change, because I know that anything good comes from you.

Time

My children and I 2007
Christmas 2007

Time flies, time stands still

time does whatever it will

reaching for all the truth, truth in my life

as I enter into the world single, not as a wife

Memories fill memories stand still

memories id like to leave behind, memories determing how I feel

Ill take my stand, and embrace my mistakes

knowing our life and dreams I was determined to break

now as i reach for my future, reaching for my dreams

realizing my past wasnt all that it seemed

Guilt and shame left me to wonder, but its

Not all my fault ,not on all on my shoulders

Love turned to complancancy has nothing to offer

doesnt make the blow of this any softer

Im sorry for the pain I caused, sorry our love trumed dry

But that is all we have left and left us both to cry

but neverfogotten and as we mourn for what was lost,

Knowing one day forgiveness, freedom and love will be born

Getting over you was getting over us

Slowly over the years dried out to mere dust

No going back, now no looking back

To what I once felt, what I once had

Moving on moving forward to the march of my own beat

standing on my own on my own two feet

time flies, time stands still

times does whatever it will

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Continue reading “Time”

My Practiced Smile, My Lie In Practice

Written 2010

so here i am, in my private place
i will put my smile, my practiced smile
in a neat little box, next to me..for a little while
in this place, my secret place i will not wear my lie
such a little thing, this little brave face, this prefect
peaceful pensive smile
like a habit worn in faith…it brings such comfort
to everyone around, yet the price, the saintly sacrifice
brings to me no such peace,
i conceal my pain, i bury my shame, in a pretty lie
my lovely lie, and before i fall
to restless slumber…..place it there to rest
no one wants to see my truth, no one else can bear my pain
so i mold it, i create something beautiful
that all can see and not worry or think too much about
But i dance with it tonight, my truth
to which, in the darkness i let my partner lead,
……sweeping me up into despair
whirling thru the night, spinning me leaving me breathless
then…
alone again i will turn…and gently open my box
There it is, my smile, my practiced smile my lie in practice…