I was pretty nervous. My method of staying calm was by looking up towards the back of the congregation and sweeping my eyes across the room, smiling as I spoke and having written really good notes to go by! I was 15 years old.
Tag Archives: blogprompt
I see wild animals……
In Arlington Texas, at Veridian Park, I walked side by side with a little bob tailed cat. only he was larger than any house cat I have ever seen! Of course I see beautiful birds and I hear their sweet songs. Squirrels come by my yard for corn treats. I snapped the photo of the turtle in Hawaii!
Loving You
You are Wonderous and Marvelous. My Creator, my Father, my Healer, my Comforter. You are the smile on my face when I walk in hard times and the Joy in my heart when I don’t see an answer. You are my very best Friend. I love you
I met you at a young age. I had an encounter with you that completely changed my life. You came to me. You spoke directly to me as a little girl. In my parents’ room. You told me you loved me and that you would not leave me nor forsake me and that you would protect me and lead me as a Shephard leads his precious flock. I belong to you. I love you.
Precious Redeemer, never stop teaching me. Open my eyes to your truth. Keep me from disobedience. That I may please you and always be a pleasing aroma to you. That I sacrifice my fleshly desires and carry my cross. Create in me a loyal heart. A tender heart for you. So that I may tell the peoples of all you have done for me and how much you love them.
When I do not know the answers Father, I ask you to still me. Quiet my mind, be still my heart and as I wait with patient endurance, I call to remembrance all the good things that you have done for me and my countenance is lifted. I know that no good thing will you withhold from me. That you will perfect all that concerns me. I give you my thanks, my love and my fidelity. Oh how I love you!!
I would like to change the fact that on a deep level, I haven’t loved myself.
I would like to look in the mirror and not listen to the negative dialogue I hear within, I am actively on this trend, loving myself. I don’t want the readers to feel pity or think I am actively disliking myself. I am on the road. I am taking the purposeful time to change my inner voice, to say positive and loving things about myself, to myself. I am created in Gods image, marvelously created. I love God, so why has it taken me so long to really learn the art of giving myself a break, not comparing myself to others, I mean, God decided how I would look on purpose and it is a lie from the pits of hell that I should alter myself so I can look like someone else to be happy or prettier. That is what I would like to change, the idea that I should change something about myself just to fit in.
My kids & myself
What are you most proud of in your life?
When my kids were young, between 14 and 10, I became seriously ill with depression after the divorce of their father and me. I soon after became addicted to drugs and ended up in prison. Their father drank a lot but provided a safe home for them to grow up in and they are young adults now that don’t use drugs, they are all in good jobs. They work hard and now that I’ve been out of prison for 4 years, drug free, we have reconciled. I am proud of them. I am proud of myself. I do however, give God the glory and chose to stay humble because life is hard and I’ve been known to make bad choices so my pride must always stay in check lest I fall.
I value being alone
What’s something most people don’t know about you?
I am outgoing, always smiling. I’m easy to talk to and I listen really well. I listen really well because I don’t care to share, I keep my inner being to myself. I prefer solitude to a party. People are surprised when I tell them I’m introverted because I’m so outgoing open and friendly!!
Lazy Days
I do not care for the word lazy. Defined; unwilling to work or use energy. I do, however practice Shabet. I enter into rest, I stop what I am doing, I delight myself and worship my Lord, one day a week. I try, when I have found myself unwilling to work, to make myself get up and do at least one positive thing, example would be, make my bed. I think though, for this prompt, I will ease up and be gentle both on myself and my readers. We need times, days of rest, or laziness. We are a world of constant motion, or news feed, reels, TV, phone calls ect ect. So, I will have to say, that our bodies need this type of day, to truly be unproductive. Renewed, rejuvenated, refreshed and RESTED! This is my short take on what can be a long winded topic!
Learn Who You are
Your ‘Who” is different than your ‘Do’
I am frail, I am weak, I fall short. That, however is not WHO I am!
- I am chosen
- I am called
- I am forgiven
- I am justified
- I am loved
- I am a Royal Priesthood
- I am a child of God
- I am the apple of His eye
- I am alive with Christ
- I am Holy
- I am without blame before Him in love
- I am a joint-heir with Christ
- I am an overcomer
- I am a new creature in Christ
- I am the light of the world
- I am His elect
- I am the head and not the tail
- I am greatly loved by God
- I am submitted to God
I am complete in Him Who is the Head of all principality and power
This all goes with loving myself, forgiving myself and not judging what I have done, what I may do and giving myself not a pass to mess up but love. Be easy on myself. I am not who I used to be. I do not do what I used to do. I am changing, God is developing in me the desire to live a life worthy of the calling and that really begins with love. If I love, pure love, I forgive others and myself. If I love, I do my best at work, for my supervisors and the company. If I love I let things go that bother me. This is not to become a door mat. Standing up for myself is loving who I am as well as loving myself enough to not let other peoples behavior toward me effect me. This is all new to me, this revelation of loving myself in a Godly way. It is not indifferent, it is being at my core a strong oak! Well, that is all for the day!
Judge Not
Do not judge yourself harshly. Without mercy for ourselves we cannot love the world. — Gautama Buddha
Don’t forget, forgiving yourself includes not judging yourself
So here I am, so focused on my sin, what I think I am doing wrong, that I forget I am loved. That His blood covers me, I am loved and I am loveable! Recently a friend of mine sent me a devotion on judging ourselves. I have a judge. My Judge, my Father, my Redeemer, my Best Friend thought so much of me, loved and loves me so much that He laid down His life for me. There is no condemnation for those in Christ. I have heard this, read this and quoted this to others, fully believing it. About them. Not me! I guess I didn’t really think much of myself. I couldn’t forgive myself. Perhaps in loving myself enough to truly forgiving myself, is key in walking in love with myself. I walk in love with others. I give others allowances for being themselves, I just have had a hard time doing that with myself. Causes a lot of stress! I am on a journey. Ups and downs, mountains and valleys and sometimes I make mistakes. I have really been hard on myself. Guilt ridden. Oh that He loves me! I feel a little more free today. Less heavy.
#Bloganuary
What do you like most about your writing?
I really love the way I feel when I write. I feel most alive and empowered when I write.
Myself
“If you do not breathe through writing, if you do not cry out in writing, or sing in writing, then don’t write, because our culture has no use for it.”
― Anais Nin
I literally have cried and sung.I mean,there are times when it takes you away and your there…in the pages….and you feel the emotions that your putting down. Its a drug in a way. Euphoric.
After Bella 