Tag Archives: blogpersonal

My kids & myself

What are you most proud of in your life?

When my kids were young, between 14 and 10, I became seriously ill with depression after the divorce of their father and me. I soon after became addicted to drugs and ended up in prison. Their father drank a lot but provided a safe home for them to grow up in and they are young adults now that don’t use drugs, they are all in good jobs. They work hard and now that I’ve been out of prison for 4 years, drug free, we have reconciled. I am proud of them. I am proud of myself. I do however, give God the glory and chose to stay humble because life is hard and I’ve been known to make bad choices so my pride must always stay in check lest I fall.

Forgetting

Don’t look back, forget it

Let go, let it go and

Don’t look back

Look ahead. That’s all new

Press on, strive for it. Reach

Focus on now, not then

Don’t try to remember, remember when?

That’s been done, it’s over. Finished

This is now. Right now. To begin

Let’s begin Let’s all breathe. Breathe in. Breathe out. Now stop. It’s gone. It’s over. Don’t take it back. Forget it …….. stay forgetting

Something Beautiful

When I see a dirty, ragged, chipped and lonely piece of furniture I feel compelled to see beyond its appearance, to the heart of it.

This is not finished. Unfortunately when I began working with wood I didn’t foresee my commitment to see the end from the beginning. I had no idea I could do this and I certainly didn’t realize my enjoyment. I lose myself when I’m sanding wood. I only use a sander up to 400. From there I do it by hand.
This is my first sanding job. I’m not finished. I only had up to 2000 grit

#Bloganuary

What does your ideal day look like?

The ideal day never comes. Today is ideal for him who makes it.

 That perfect day, that magic moment that we’re all waiting for, is right now

Everyday we wait for things to be perfect, will for sure be a loss. Perfection is not attained by circumstance but in acceptance.

That is my wisdom on the subject. However, I do prefer that day where I can drink coffee and blog in relative lonesomeness, to get my thoughts together and organized without the pressure of also cooking and taking care of the kids, spouse or animals! I like to be alone, to get things done around the house. If he is home, I’m endlessly distracted by him lol!

#BloganuaryChallenge

Thank you Mindy Postoff

I enjoyed my blog challenge and hope to participate in more!! I met some cool bloggers and I wrote even when I was tired or busy, a good habit to make and my procrastination though lingering still, I feel like it is a habit I am willing to break!!! Take care and hopefully will see each other again soon!

#Bloganuary

How do you feel when you look at the stars?

When he shall die,
Take him and cut him out in little stars,
And he will make the face of heaven so fine
That all the world will be in love with night
And pay no worship to the garish sun.”

― William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet

Of course Romeo and Juliet must have the honors of my first thought. Then of course I will say I feel infinitesimal which I believe means very very small! Oh, but I also feel as if there is a magic and wander about it all, life and love. I feel full of expectancy and hope because the God of all Wonder created that sky, then I know my life is full of promise! Also, I feel a little dizzy! Looking up like that just does lol!

#Bloganuary

What is a cause that I am passionate about and why

Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing.

August Wilson

I am going to have to say, my answer is me, myself and I. I have to really truly and purposefully try and become passionate about me. I am 46 and there is so much about me and this life I’m living that I still don’t know, that I believe I must become vigilant about loving myself. Giving myself permission to not being the perfect woman, whatever that ideal is. Discovering hidden talents, rediscover old dreams and learn to relax, breath, have fun. In loving myself I will cast out the negative energy. I have tried to micromanage my life and those in it so much so, that I’m sure my beloveds have been suffering. I have been through some bad things, we all have, but when I didn’t feel I had control over my body the first time I was raped as a child I think it led me to overcompensate with controlling habits in other areas. So, that is a big discovery I have had recently. I am learning to just let go and live and love and laugh and be happy! When you let go of the control, you can learn to relax. Constantly worrying about this and that and all the what if’s. My relationship will grow stronger because the worry is gone. He loves me right now, tomorrow is another day. I cant control him or the weather so I might as well enjoy myself and him and the weather!!!

I am Brave!!

#Bloganuary Prompt

Write about a challenge you faced and overcame

I have a few but let me think for a minute and I’ll tell you about one. In 2020 I was released from prison. Upon my release I had to see parole and find out about my parole restrictions and requirements. These are them.

  • Stay sober
  • Find a job and maintain employment
  • Get my drivers license
  • Complete a week long class on drug addiction
  • Pay restitution fees

So, here I am, without a drivers license and to get it back I had to pay restitution, $100.00 The class was $100.00 and I had to find a ride to and from work. Let alone, I needed to find a job. These are tough things to accomplish when you have no car or drivers license and all your friends still do drugs and are hollering at you via social media, tempting you to go over and get high, or asking if I was gonna sell again. So I stopped talking to all of them. A few I still talk to today, but its like a Slim Shady slim list. Well, I lived with my brother and mom, my mom drove me to work. Oh yea, I forgot to tell you I got a job less than a quarter mile away. What a blessing! Well, I made $10.00 an hour at a warehouse packing fruits and vegetables for orders to be delivered, so it took a while to save all that money and live . I did it though, so it can be done. I made it work living with my brother and mom by staying humble. Anyway, within a month and a half, I took the class I needed, a week long by the way. Tedious to say the least. Once I completed the class I had to buy insurance even though I had no car, it was just another hassle parole put on you to make things difficult. So I got the insurance. After I got my certificate for taking the class and paid the restitution fees I waited for the DMV (Department of Motor Vehicle)to release me so I could get my licences back. That took a little over two weeks. I started dating Andy by then and he took it upon himself to help me then save and buy a car. Those days before Andy, even when I was with Andy, when I wasn’t with him I was lonely. I couldn’t go see him. He lived in Arlington and I lived forty minutes away. So I was lonely, car less, friendless but not hopeless! I am proud of myself for doing the right thing. I could have just driven and been liable if something went wrong. It was best for me to work hard and truly appreciate the feeling of overcoming an obstacle that was pretty big!