#Bloganuary

Write about a dream you remember


Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before.

Edgar Allan Poe

Any dream I wake up and remember, I will quickly write down. I learned a couple years ago, my strange, wild dreams, dreams that make no sense, they come true. I will write them down so people around me will believe that I did in fact, have a dream I am living out. I don’t understand why I dream like I do and why they come true and there are some lessons I guess I have learned. Listen to myself! Wait! I still don’t listen to myself, my heart, or my gut.

I know there’s not lot of meat here to go by, your probably as bored reading this as I am writing it. I apologize. My head and heart are some other place and I can’t quite get the words to come, or the story to tell.

#Bloganuary


What is your favorite quote and why

Outlaw

My All Time Favorite??

“When a man is denied the right to live the life he believes in, he has no choice but to become an outlaw.

Nelson Mandela

The Nelson Mandela quote is hands down, the best quote, the best words even! I had these words running across my mind back when I was a fugitive on the run from the law, you can be sure!

The Henry Thomas Buckle quote is the second best, such a big truth behind such a little quote!


Society prepares the crime; the criminal commits it.”

— Henry Thomas Buckle 

Justice is a whore that won’t let herself be stiffed, and collects the wages of shame even from the poor.

Karl Kraus (1874-1936)

“A criminal mind needs consideration rather than the criminal itself. In truth, there are more criminals than those who committed a crime.”
― Harshit Walia


I love outlaw quotes! Any, all, good or bad, I love them all! A few comforted me while I was without family, a fugitive and on the run myself. I identified with several quotes, they gave me amusement I guess you’d say.


“The criminal is the creative artist; the detective only the critic.”

― G.K. Chesterton

When freedom is outlawed, only outlaws will be free.— Tom Robbins


“There’s no way to rule innocent men. The only power any government has is the power to crack down on criminals. Well, when there aren’t enough criminals, one makes them. One declares so many things to be a crime that it becomes impossible for men to live without breaking laws.”

― Ayn Rand

“Lie, it is the American way.”
― Steven Magee


Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside while still alive. Never surrender.

-Tupac Shakur

“Good. Illegal is always faster.”

― Eoin Colfer

“Poverty is the parent of revolution and crime.”

― Aristotle

#Bloganuary


If you could, what year would you time travel to and why?

1940-1950 Hollywood Glamour!!



Oh my goodness! I love this era! The dresses! We don’t wear dresses anymore! Not like that!

Without wonder and insight, acting is just a trade. With it, it becomes creation.

Bette Dvis

“I believe in manicures. I believe in overdressing. I believe in primping at leisure and wearing lipstick. I believe in pink. I believe happy girls are the prettiest girls.”

Audrey Hepburn

It seems so wholesome, yet you know its not. Hollywood that is, Well, if i could go back, I’d go back to that time. And wear me some dresses!!

Me

#Bloganuary

Write about something mysterious

The Greatest Mystery


Child birth to me, is a great and beautiful mystery! The makings of a tiny human all inside your belly. I got pregnant with my first child in 1998. I was 23 years old and married for two years. I met a woman at church one night, she introduced herself and explained she was a mid wife, She asked me what kind of birth I would like and that set me off! ” What kind of birth?” You mean there is more than one kind? She suggested I read a book Baby Catcher: Chronicles of a Modern Midwife by Peggy Vincent, an excellent source of information. I quickly became an advocate for home birth. I transferred all my medical records to my new mid wife and off I went to plan my birth!! There is so much more to labor and birth than what Hollywood portrays. Sadly because we are uneducated and Hollywood’s spin, we have way too many hospital births and are uneducated in the benefits of home birth. That is not the magic though. The magic is in the mystery. The womb is the darkest and warmest place we have ever been. It is the place of our development and our design. Our journey into this world is full of tears and joy. Pain? Yes, there is pain, for sure. If we are taught to understand all the little things that cause us to hurt more, then we can manage this moment and endure less pain and more focus and joy. Bright lights are not normal for any other birth except humans. Our cats and dogs usually go for a quiet dark corner, alone. I completely understood when we talked about it with my midwife. I had after all, been raise in a farm. So, I decided I wanted candles only for lighting. I had my music planned. My invitation only birthing was on the way! I only had to get my child to get with it and come out! She was nearly two week late. The final count down was the day before she came out. My midwife had been at my house for nearly two days waiting for this baby! She finally said, everyone go home. I want you and your man to have a date, go for a walk, and have really good sex and we will see what happens! Well, I guess the makeup of a mans sperm can help stir the juices and get labor going!! So does breast stimulation. I loved giving birth! The joy and awe you experience when you first meet the little person you had growing inside of you is beyond mysterious and magical! It is Miraculous.!!

!

#Bloganuary

What is a super power I’d love to have?


Problem ~Solving

Proverbs 18:15, "The intelligent man is always open to new ideas. In fact, he looks for them."

I would love if I could solve problems. You could literally give me your problem and I would solve it…..just like that! No fuss, no stress for anyone. Finances, relationships and with our family/kids, issues would not be a problem because I would be after all


That would be Andys’ first choice for me.


#Bloganuary Prompt

Write about a challenge you faced and overcame


I have a few but let me think for a minute and I’ll tell you about one. In 2020 I was released from prison. Upon my release I had to see parole and find out about my parole restrictions and requirements. These are them.

  • Stay sober
  • Find a job and maintain employment
  • Get my drivers license
  • Complete a week long class on drug addiction
  • Pay restitution fees

So, here I am, without a drivers license and to get it back I had to pay restitution, $100.00 The class was $100.00 and I had to find a ride to and from work. Let alone, I needed to find a job. These are tough things to accomplish when you have no car or drivers license and all your friends still do drugs and are hollering at you via social media, tempting you to go over and get high, or asking if I was gonna sell again. So I stopped talking to all of them. A few I still talk to today, but its like a Slim Shady slim list. Well, I lived with my brother and mom, my mom drove me to work. Oh yea, I forgot to tell you I got a job less than a quarter mile away. What a blessing! Well, I made $10.00 an hour at a warehouse packing fruits and vegetables for orders to be delivered, so it took a while to save all that money and live . I did it though, so it can be done. I made it work living with my brother and mom by staying humble. Anyway, within a month and a half, I took the class I needed, a week long by the way. Tedious to say the least. Once I completed the class I had to buy insurance even though I had no car, it was just another hassle parole put on you to make things difficult. So I got the insurance. After I got my certificate for taking the class and paid the restitution fees I waited for the DMV (Department of Motor Vehicle)to release me so I could get my licences back. That took a little over two weeks. I started dating Andy by then and he took it upon himself to help me then save and buy a car. Those days before Andy, even when I was with Andy, when I wasn’t with him I was lonely. I couldn’t go see him. He lived in Arlington and I lived forty minutes away. So I was lonely, car less, friendless but not hopeless! I am proud of myself for doing the right thing. I could have just driven and been liable if something went wrong. It was best for me to work hard and truly appreciate the feeling of overcoming an obstacle that was pretty big!


#Bloganuary

What does it mean to live boldly?

”To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.”

Oscar Wilde

There was a time a few short years ago, when I was making my living by committing crimes, where I really believed I was living my best life. I lived by a code of conduct, I had my hand in a lot cookie jars so to speak. I multi tasked if you will. Anyway, for a while maybe I was living my best life, considering. I always had lots of cash, I was my own boss. I ran my life like I had a legit job. I called customers and promoted my goods, I had a daily log of what came in and what went out. I took profits from one area and reinvested into other areas of my said liking or interest. I collected on debts or accounts owed and kept client relations on a happy note. It was an adventure. Or misadventure. Reckless is what it was. I wouldn’t want to do it again, live like that but I did do things I never thought I’d do, experienced a way of life that is completely outlaw and made some friends with the oldest coolest cats I know. Real OG.

Now, I have to ask myself, am I living boldly now? No. I am living quietly. I am resettling into life. Readjusting. My boyfriend Andy and I don’t go out a lot. I am trying to figure what to do with my life as we speak, poor Andy, he is trying to give me ideas. Its a lot of work, being my boyfriend. As I reflect on this and realize I could be living better, perhaps I will take a moment now and mindfully look at my life. Where could I improve on something, anything? I have to keep into consideration my knee and leg are still unable to carry my weight, so what can I do? I cant drive yet. Well, I did start this blog, or rather just started paying attention to it. So maybe right now, I am doing the best version available of living boldly. I started writing again. I started playing with graphic art again. I think this mindful moment I just had was very productive!

Attention!!

Considering my current situation, I am living boldly! I am taking risks when I post something I write. I love to write. Right now, this is my best life! I am so glad I did today’s prompt. I wrote myself into my my own truth I hadn’t taken the time to see and I am happy to say, this is living boldly for me!!

#Bloganuary

Prompt of the day

What do people incorrectly assume about me

We don’t know where our first impressions come from or precisely what they mean, so we don’t always appreciate their fragility

Malcolm Gladwell
“God can save the sinner you are, but not the saint you pretend to be.”
― Anthony Bloom

I had my kids in soccer for years in a small town. At that time I didn’t have as many tattoos as I do now,maybe three less. Still, this one particular game that we had won,the other sides coaches, two sisters, approached our side talking loud about our side cheating. It became loud and the kids were asking what was a cheater. I asked if they could discuss it later, not in front of the kids. The shorter one yelled at me to shut up, and actually said “Shut up, you have tattoos and you look like a whore!’ I mean just like that. I know what your probably thinking. What kind of clothes is she wearing? Well I know I had a pair of capris on and it was summer so probably a tshirt. I specifically remember my hair as in two braid because I felt self conscious wearing them. It was something new, I’m sure the ladies will understand! That created a ruckus with a bunch of moms on our side stood up, shout bitch and yelling at each other. It went crazy. I grabbed our coach, and said please don’t, its ok and it isn’t worth it. I think one mom on our side even yelled someone should kick her ass. I calmed everyone down. I remember just feeling shocked, not outraged. I was more upset when my six year daughter asked me what a whore was. I did talk to the soccer league something or other and he apologized on behalf of the league and told me that both girls couldn’t coach the rest of the year. I thanked him and really only think about when kicking back with friends yelling outrageous and funny stories. That was one on the list. Here’s one more. On this day, I was checking out my purchases and was getting off the phone with my husband. I said something like praise the Lord. when I was off the phone she asked if I was a christian. I said yes. She preceded to then say ‘I didn’t think people with tattoos could be Christian.’ This was my response, ‘ Yes ma’am, I am a christian. I’m not worried about this skin, I get a new one in Heaven.’ I don’t remember everything she said but it really could have set me off had I not known that perhaps that day I could show a person with  prejudices against people with tattoos, a different perspective. I was nice and polite to her. I told her Jesus loves me and I love him.I parted ways with her and I felt joy in my heart. Maybe that day she thought about it. If anything my reaction to that conversation will last. Not all people with tattoos are going to hell.

I put my pictures at the top. This is about my tattoos. What were your assumptions?

Now, I must say, that I am very old fashioned. Old school. Respect. You gotta have respect. When I get in those situations, it doesn’t affect me. That could be interpreted that I let people walk all over me, which I am inclined to agree. So, on one hand I do believe that God graced with humility and on the other, I have stayed in abusive relationship far too long. Perhaps it is a little of both. Well , I gotta go. Im trying to catch up Im days behind!