I was pretty nervous. My method of staying calm was by looking up towards the back of the congregation and sweeping my eyes across the room, smiling as I spoke and having written really good notes to go by! I was 15 years old.
Category Archives: Here I am
This is me, all my mistakes, all my life has brought me here. Here I am
Learn Who You are
Your ‘Who” is different than your ‘Do’
I am frail, I am weak, I fall short. That, however is not WHO I am!
- I am chosen
- I am called
- I am forgiven
- I am justified
- I am loved
- I am a Royal Priesthood
- I am a child of God
- I am the apple of His eye
- I am alive with Christ
- I am Holy
- I am without blame before Him in love
- I am a joint-heir with Christ
- I am an overcomer
- I am a new creature in Christ
- I am the light of the world
- I am His elect
- I am the head and not the tail
- I am greatly loved by God
- I am submitted to God
I am complete in Him Who is the Head of all principality and power
This all goes with loving myself, forgiving myself and not judging what I have done, what I may do and giving myself not a pass to mess up but love. Be easy on myself. I am not who I used to be. I do not do what I used to do. I am changing, God is developing in me the desire to live a life worthy of the calling and that really begins with love. If I love, pure love, I forgive others and myself. If I love, I do my best at work, for my supervisors and the company. If I love I let things go that bother me. This is not to become a door mat. Standing up for myself is loving who I am as well as loving myself enough to not let other peoples behavior toward me effect me. This is all new to me, this revelation of loving myself in a Godly way. It is not indifferent, it is being at my core a strong oak! Well, that is all for the day!
Judge Not
Do not judge yourself harshly. Without mercy for ourselves we cannot love the world. — Gautama Buddha
Don’t forget, forgiving yourself includes not judging yourself
So here I am, so focused on my sin, what I think I am doing wrong, that I forget I am loved. That His blood covers me, I am loved and I am loveable! Recently a friend of mine sent me a devotion on judging ourselves. I have a judge. My Judge, my Father, my Redeemer, my Best Friend thought so much of me, loved and loves me so much that He laid down His life for me. There is no condemnation for those in Christ. I have heard this, read this and quoted this to others, fully believing it. About them. Not me! I guess I didn’t really think much of myself. I couldn’t forgive myself. Perhaps in loving myself enough to truly forgiving myself, is key in walking in love with myself. I walk in love with others. I give others allowances for being themselves, I just have had a hard time doing that with myself. Causes a lot of stress! I am on a journey. Ups and downs, mountains and valleys and sometimes I make mistakes. I have really been hard on myself. Guilt ridden. Oh that He loves me! I feel a little more free today. Less heavy.
I am not alone
This is my first post in a long time. I am undergoing a transition in my life. I once wrote about my first experience with God at age ten. Psalm 23. I read it and I cried. I knew he was speaking directly to me. Later in life I looked toward men for my approval, for love, for acceptance. I lowered my standards, I did not set or keep boundaries. I ignored the voice inside me that said no. I quieted the voice inside that said, that’s not love. I put men in front of God. The acceptance of the man in my life, his love, was an idol. So, as I heal from my recent relationship I have asked forgiveness from God. He has sent woman to feed me the word and truth. There is a brother of mine that has ministered to my soul and spirit. You know who you are! I am on my way now! I never recognized this pattern in my life before. I see truth now. I have revelation. Thank you Jesus! So, truth sets us free! I am not alone! God is with me, he comforts me, his rod and staff protect me. He leads me beside still waters and has my lie in green pastures. I dont understand or know my future, but I believe truth and the truth, the Word says God has a good plan for me, I will receive double recompense for my sorrow and He will restore what the locusts have eaten, I will have beauty for my ashes and I will not be shamed. I will be a lender and not a borrower! I am on my way! I am excited!
Thirsty Thursday
In your thirst for knowledge, be sure not to drown in all the information. …
Ecclesiastes 12:12 KJV: And further, by these, my son, be admonished: of making many books there is no end; and much study is a weariness of the flesh.
K.I.S.S. Keep It Simple Stupid
rehab
So many theories, so many opinions
John 14:6 ... “Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” King James ..
So many religions, so many people trying this and that. It is so simple. Jesus. He is the answer.
John 4:13-14 Jesus answered and said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will thirst again; but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him shall never thirst; but the water that I will give him will become in him a well of water springing up to eternal life.” Matthew 5:6 “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied. Isaiah 44:3 For I will pour water on the thirsty land, and streams on the dry ground; I will pour out my Spirit on your offspring, and my blessing on your descendants. John 7:37 Now on the last day, the great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried out, saying, “If anyone is thirsty, let him come to Me and drink.
Do not let me mislead you, there are many more scriptures on thirsting for the Jesus, these are just a few. If you want to know, ask, if you are seeking you will find but seek you must. The answers are there. You do not have to ask someone, ask God. Then open up the living Word! I pray you are blessed and that the burning quest for knowledge you are searching for be found in the Lord!
Wednesday’s Wake Up
Everything he ever said, every promise….
“If your actions don’t live up to your words, you have nothing to say.”
― DaShanne Stokes
“…they speak great swelling words of emptiness…” ― 2 Peter 2 18
With every broken promise
There comes a time when the person lying can no longer be responsible for the breaking of your heart. You are responsible for your own heart ache. When I realized this I was still heart broke. That I let myself down. That I let someone time after time and time again get my hopes up. I wanted to believe in the love I thought we shared. I wanted to believe. There are just some things and people we are not and were never meant to know, to love or to believe in. The journey is our choice to some extent and I am ready to become my own hero, my own advocate and as my daughter recently said, become independent and learn to use my own voice and use it LOUDLY!!!!
Ninety Nine
Luke 15:3-7 Then Jesus told them this parable: “Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’ I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.
When I was ten years old my Father gathered me into his fold. He led me beside still waters, He protected me, He lavished me with His love! He anointed me. He had me pass under His rod, He separated me, He sealed me with His Holy Seal. I could FEEL it! Thank you Abba!! As I wait upon you, I can relax. My heavenly Daddy loves me! He has it all taken care of! Just like that little sheep in the picture, we were all lost and hopeless and scared at one time. You can call on Him. He loves you, He hasn’t forgotten you, no matter how far you stray our Good Shepherd will come!
Friday Feelings
Feelings & Thoughts
“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart”
― Helen Keller
Such a beautiful sentiment……if one can keep their feelings in check! I myself struggle daily and often by the minute with my own feelings. So I say one cannot go by feelings alone. They are fickle. Fair weather friends are our feelings. We must think about our thoughts before we decide we can trust our feelings. Put away your feelings for a moment. Yes, our husband forgot to take out the trash, the kids left their toys out and you stepped on one this morning, barefoot. You want to yell, scream and maybe cuss. You are mad. You feel angry or upset. As long as you can control the feeling and not act in your feelings I’d say you are grown and mature. I have yet to meet that goal but I am working on it.
Today, I will not go on feelings alone. I am going to redirect my feelings and thoughts and rethink my thoughts into submission to the Word of God. Be gentle. Be meek, humble and understanding of others and KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT!!! Keep me in your prayers LOL, this is quite a personal challenge!!! Have a wonderful day and weekend!!!
Fridays Fumble
Fridays Frets, Fussing and Fidgets
Well, once again I’m in a lesson. My county insurance dropped me. My boyfriend bought me additional insurance so the county dropped me but the paid for insurance doesn’t cover physical therapy. My ACL is severed and I have a grade 11 MCL tear so I need the therapy. He is stressed. I was stressed and even heart broke.
I’ve been told once my knee is healed I have to leave my residence. So now I’m in a pickle. God, what do you want me to do?
- Not Fret
- Not Fuss
- Not Fidget
Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding
I do not understand my circumstances but I do believe, rely, trust and have CONFIDENCE in my Heavenly Father that whatever His plans are, they are good, His thoughts toward me are good and He will never leave me or forsake me!
Before I was a daughter, a wife a mother, a friend or a girlfriend, I was Gods. I am a child of God. There is no one who cares for me more. I lay this lesson, this testing of my faith, at my Kings feet. Here’s my mess. Do with me whatever you will, for it is your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Thank you Jesus. Give me this day my daily bread and lead me not into temptation, but deliver me from the evil one. Forgive me my debts as I forgive my debtors, for yours is the kingdom!
I have a promise!
It’s not too late
Abraham was called at the age of 75 to be the father of many but was sent at the age of 100 to have the son that God called him to have. He and Sara tried, in the flesh and on their own to have a child and that was not the child God called him to have, Ishmael was born in the flesh and eventually banished to the desert. God gave Ishmael a promise of a nation of his own, but Isaac was whom God established His covenant.
Moses was called I believe at birth to lead the Jews out of captivity. He moved in the flesh thinking to kill an Egyptian that was abusing a Jew, which was his brethren. He fled and became a shepherd at the age of 40 and it was another 40 years before God sent him to free the Jews. By then he had developed a speech problem and didn’t feel he was up to the job! God waited until he was humble!!
God waited 14 years to give Abraham his promise, Moses waited another 40 years. I know God has promised me somethings, I’ve had several prophetic words, over several years, with different people. These promises take time, but we are told to write our visions and promises down, to wait for them, they will come at their appointed times. Thank you Father, that your word gives me hope. I am not too late. I haven’t been a mistake and my mistakes are not too big for you! In fact, I am excited! I am expectant! I am filled with anticipation! What God can and will do no man has seen before! He is doing a new thing!
After Bella 
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