Its so nice of you to stop by and visit with me. I have dedicated this blog as a personal journal, I have a lot I want to get off my chest! This is new to me, I’m learning as I go, I hope you enjoy and please don’t forget to follow me!!
“When a man is denied the right to live the life he believes in, he has no choice but to become an outlaw.”
― Nelson Mandela
My Story
Well, my story is so complicated and so full twists and turns I make myself dizzy. Well, I am learning as I go, sit back, I hope you enjoy the ride!!
I am 46 years old. Divorced, with three kids. Soon after the divorce I became very depressed. That led me into drug use. Actually, let me take a step back and address that. I had started using methamphetamine at 17 and I used for roughly six months. During my marriage and after having three kids I started taking prescription medication. I took a couple for depression and anxiety. Hydrocodone 10 mg. for a shoulder I hurt gardening. I was so sleepy from my medications and what my Doctor called attention deficiency, so I was then prescribed Adderall. Just to be clear, before I had to take street drugs I was legally prescribed the same drug. Its about perception, and doing what you have to, to make it.
So, I am divorced, 35 with no job, no experience besides an outdated resume in all things equestrian. I really cant say I am completely over everything, but I do like who I am, who I am becoming and I forgive and understand the 35 year old me that I was.
The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a Heav’n of Hell, a Hell of Heav’n.
John Milton
After Bella 
Kudos on your progress Bella.
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Well thank you thank you!!
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Good luck to you on your journey. Challenges do make us stronger even if we don’t welcome them at first. Someday, you may look back and even see everything that happened to you as a gift… Warmest wishes to you —
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@writegardener Oh thank you so much! Yes, you are right about my mistakes and heartbreaks! I am a stronger woman and I think a BETTER!
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How did I not find this part of your site before? Your honest and raw openness is so pure and good! I didn’t know is was possibly to love you more! You have so many things right here… You are forgiven and you should like who you are! Broken and but loved! Aren’t we all! It is the human condition, and it is what connect all of us. So glad I found you and can keep reading your amazing writing!
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Oh what a blessing you are!!!! Thank you so much
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I think I canceled my last response lol. I said you are such a blessing and thank you for commenting. I haven’t written in a long time as my husband doesn’t want me to write on here anymore. God will change that in His time.
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Aww, that’s such a bummer. Why? Writing is such a big part of who I am—it’s how I process, connect, and breathe. To love me is to accept that part of me, even if it’s not always comfortable. Honestly, a lot of people in my own circle didn’t like my writing at first either. I think they were afraid of what I might say. But eventually, they realized they had a choice—not to read it. It’s a part of me, and that’s not going to change. I truly hope you keep going. You’re such a gift, and your words matter. Plus, your site is amazing! I could use your help!
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