This is where I follow scripture and as in Jeremiah 30:2 “I am the Lord, I am the God of Israel, I say :Write in a book all the words I have spoken to you”

December 30, 2021

After fourth grade my parents put me in home school…..we had moved out to the country to have our horses with us on a farm. I had no friends, as I got older my social skills were lacking. I was naive and extremely vulnerable. I was desperately lonely and in need of Jesus.

“Before we make friends with anyone else, we must first make friends with ourselves”

Eleanor Roosevelt

I had a difficult time making friends as a young girl. I was home schooled in the late eighties and we just didn’t have the resources we have now. That and my already insecure feelings, when I met a girl and tried to become friends I didn’t have the ability to really maintain friendships. Moving forward….

My first experience with God was when I was ten years old. I was in my room reading the Bible and Psalms 23 jumped out of the page and came alive to me. God was my Shepherd, He personally led me to still waters and His staff and rod protected me! I broke down into tears. He became my friend that day. I wasn’t alone. I was loved!

That moment sustained me through my early years but Satan attacked me through sexual, verbal and physical abuse. Like many girls and boys who endure silently the hole abuse digs into your heart and mind I began to act out. I didn’t act out really so much as I began to act in. The voices in my head telling me I was guilty. I was wrong. In a self loathing mental break I gave up my beloved horses. I believe my divorce and eventual break in my relationship with my kids was the same reaction to the shame I felt. I separated myself from anything beautiful in my life. In my teens I threw away my trophies from horse shows in a rage of self hatred and shame.

I was caught with drugs in 2018 and sentenced to prison time, I sat down and finally had to listen to what God had to say to me.

“Our prisons and our jails are now our mental health institutions.“

Hillary Clinton

So, I spent two years in prison for manufacturing and delivery of PG1. In layman terms thats methamphetamine and I was caught, or set up actually with too much. I wont go into details as this isnt about the dope but about the deliverance God gave me. When I was in jail awaiting trial,God gave the above scripture and I did exactly that. The next scripture He gave me was in Hosea 2:14-16

Hosea 2:14-16New International Version

¹⁴ “Therefore I am now going to allure her;
    I will lead her into the wilderness
    and speak tenderly to her.
¹⁵ There I will give her back her vineyards,
    and will make the Valley of Achor^[a] a door of hope.
There she will respond^[b] as in the days of her youth,
    as in the day she came up out of Egypt.

¹⁶ “In that day,” declares the Lord,
“you will call me ‘my husband’;
you will no longer call me ‘my master.^[c]’

The valley of Archor translates to Trouble.

Yes! thats what I was in! I remember the awe I felt in reading that. It applied to me. The Bible is the living breathing word of God. It is still relevant, it still applies to us today. We just have to read it.