#Bloganuary
I cant really remember ever getting out of my comfort zone. I want to say even, that that is something I am very good at avoiding. There are two ways putting yourself in that situation can go. It can be very good for someone to stretch or broaden their horizon, so to speak. It can also be frightening and trigger some unwanted emotional responses or even psychological problems that produce some pretty strong physical responses.
I do have a time I can share with you all, one of the biggest moments in my adult life, concerning my daughter and her horse. I wrote and referred in #Bloganuary first prompt that I grew up riding horses and wanting to show my horse. I developed anxiety at an early age and by the time I was in my early teens, my competition days were over. I would sweat profusely. I would feel like I couldn’t breathe. Well, I raised my kids on a farm. We had goats, chickens and horses. So of course, I taught my daughter how to ride and do some barrel racing. I knew in the back of my mind she would want to compete. She is my daughter, we are so much alike! I dreaded the question I knew she was going to ask. I knew it because I had told her the previous year she was too young. Oh yeah, she was going to ask. And she did. She pinned me down with, “Mom, you told me last year I couldn’t barrel race and the year before that you told me, next year” I was sweating already, I could barely breathe. I turned around, away from my little girl, I didn’t know what to do. It wasn’t fair. I knew she wanted to go. She deserved to go. I remember wanting to go to a horse show too. How could I let her down? This was a moment I knew would come. I had been dreading it, for me, it was the moment I would face my fears or I let my fears break my daughters heart. You see, I was and am very comfortable riding horses. I just cant compete. At an early age my father told me he had seen me practicing with my horse doing the clover leaf barrel racing pattern, he told me I looked like a fool and he wasn’t taking me. I was crushed. Devastated. At the least, I lost all belief in myself and at the worst my father wasn’t proud of me and didn’t think I was any good. I never competed again. I rode an I trained horses and gave riding lessons but I could not would not ever again enter the arena. I developed severe anxiety. How could I take my daughter to a horse show when I couldn’t be around an arena. The mere thought of it sent me into the bathroom with stomach cramps, dizziness, breathlessness and drenched in sweat. My anxiety overwhelmed me. I cried for awhile in my bathroom. I didn’t stay too long in the bathroom. I had to take her. I would not let my fears break my little girls heart. I got really uncomfortable the week before her playday event. I did a lot of self talk. The morning of the event I would love to tell you I was fine. I wasn’t. I hitched up the trailer, loaded the horse and kids and off we went. She had a blast. I enjoyed watching her. My daughter won ribbons and a trophy that day! All the kids had fun, while I wouldn’t say that day I had a break through of any sort, I was able to provide a good time for the kids,
Sometimes we have to get out of a comfort zone and get really uncomfortable. That is living,
After Bella 
Thank you!!
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Healing is a very long journey, but it’s a good one. I kept on persisting, and even though the “healers” had issues themselves and hurt me, God broke through time and again. In the end, in 2014, I did find a Christian ministry that was safe and I learned the skills to help myself and others. So keep on keeping on!
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That is so awesome to hear!! It’s definitely a lifetime journey. So glad you found a good support
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Great picture of your daughter! She looks so happy!
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Oh yes!!! She loves to ride.
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Yes and thank you. She loves that horse!!!
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Wonderful post. My aunt user to ride horses, and my cousin still does. I was always terrified of them when I was little. I’m not sure why. We used to help brush them, and muck them out in the summer. I remember filling buckets with water for them, and hardly being able to carry the buckets across the yard 🙂
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Oh no!!! You are missing out, find yourself a gentle horse and go get some lessons!! Freedom is when your riding!
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yes the gifts our getting out of our comfort zone.. nice!
💖
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Oh yea. And I have so many categories and sub categories of comfort zones that I plan on getting uncomfortable as much as possible
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laughing… good luck .. I support you! 👏👏👏
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Lol
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🤣 gotta keep laughing 😘
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How sad that your father said that to you, mine said something negative to me too at that age. I’m sure they had no idea the trauma they caused and believed their comments would just make us stronger. But I’m so proud of you that you could get out of your comfort zone for your daughter’s sake.
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Thank you Cindi!!! Really I don’t think he realized what he did that day but I forgave him. It was a hard day for me lol but she had fun
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I love it!!!
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I’m so glad you didn’t let your fear stifle your daughter. I’m sorry you had a dad who was so insensitive. Is he still alive? If so, does he know what is hurtful remark did to you? Did you ever confront him with it, help him understand, and forgive him?
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It’s ok. Later I talked with him and he felt bad. In fact he ended up telling me I should have gone pro and I was the best woman trainer he’d ever met lol I was even better than most men. I forgave him. Every generation of parents make mistakes. I did.
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Wise words. Beautiful resolution. Thanks for sharing!
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I appreciate you JanBeek
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