so here i am, in my private place
i will put my smile, my practiced smile
in a neat little box, next to me..for a little while
in this place, my secret place i will not wear my lie
such a little thing, this little brave face, this prefect
peaceful pensive smile
like a habit worn in faith…it brings such comfort
to everyone around, yet the price, the saintly sacrifice
brings to me no such peace,
i conceal my pain, i bury my shame, in a pretty lie
my lovely lie, and before i fall
to restless slumber…..place it there to rest
no one wants to see my truth, no one else can bear my pain
so i mold it, i create something beautiful
that all can see and not worry or think too much about
But i dance with it tonight, my truth
to which, in the darkness i let my partner lead,
……sweeping me up into despair
whirling thru the night, spinning me leaving me breathless
then…
alone again i will turn…and gently open my box
There it is, my smile, my practiced smile my lie in practice…
After Bella 